Building Love on the Foundation of True Intimacy

Brothers and sisters, sometimes the questions that come before us in the field, or even when we're just studying together in our homes, aren't about doctrines or covenants. Sometimes they are profoundly personal, wrestling with the very nature of human connection, attraction, and commitment. It’s the kind of deep, messy, beautiful questioning that requires nothing less than the Spirit’s gentle hand to guide us through.

Recently, I was pondering a discussion that touches on the core of what it means to build a life together—a topic that is both sacred and incredibly complex. We often hear about the mechanics of relationships, the 'how-to' guides, but what about the *why*? What is the fundamental building block that makes a commitment resilient when the tides of personal feeling shift?

It’s easy, when we're knee-deep in missionary preparation or studying the Book of Mormon, to focus solely on the mechanics of conversion or the ordinances of the temple. But remember, the gospel isn't just a checklist; it's a living, breathing reality that touches every corner of our hearts. And that means we have to be ready to discuss the big, hard questions with grace and truth.

The Depth of Connection: More Than Just Attraction

What struck me most while considering this material was the emphasis on the difference between physical attraction and true, encompassing love. It’s a subtle but monumental distinction. A speaker shared that the most robust, joyful, and sustainable aspects of intimacy—both emotional and physical—stem from a deep wellspring of genuine friendship and authentic connection. It sounds simple, but it requires immense maturity and vulnerability to cultivate.

This really echoes what we strive for in our discipleship, doesn't it? We aren't just gathering facts for a missionary discussion; we are gathering *hearts* for the Savior. We are learning to see the person—the eternal soul—behind the questions, the struggles, and the doubts. That requires emotional intimacy, the kind that allows us to be vulnerable enough to be truly taught by the Spirit.

When we talk about building lives, whether that’s a marriage, a calling, or a ward unit, the foundation cannot be built on shifting sands—be it fleeting feeling or external expectation. It has to be built on the solid rock of shared values, mutual respect, and the desire to *love* the other person for who they are, flaws and all, as the Lord intends.

A Reminder for the Field

For those of us preparing to go, or those of us who have recently returned and are getting back into the rhythm of the field, I want to offer a small skill refresher. When you encounter an investigator asking a deeply personal question—one that touches on identity, sexuality, or personal history—don't feel the need to have the perfect, immediate doctrinal answer. Instead, practice deep listening and validating the *feeling* behind the question first. A simple, "That is a very important and deeply personal question. I want to take that seriously and learn more about what you're wrestling with," can open the door for the Spirit to work, even if the answer isn't immediately available.

Remember, we are disciples first. Our primary work is to become more Christlike in our own lives, allowing our example—our genuine love and connection to the Savior—to be the most persuasive teaching tool we have.

If you've been wrestling with these big life questions yourself, or if you're looking for deeper study on the nature of covenant keeping and love, I highly recommend checking out the resources on the Iron Rod. Sometimes the best way to learn about the covenant is to read the prophets talk about it.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this. If you’re ready to dive deeper into scripture-discipleship, join a Book Club or a Bible Study Group in HolyPlaces this week. Let's keep building Zion, one honest conversation at a time.