Honoring the Commandment When the Path is Rocky: A Disciple's Guide

Brothers and sisters, sometimes the most challenging areas of our discipleship aren't found in a foreign land or in a challenging missionary discussion. Sometimes, the hardest work—the work that truly tests the Spirit—is right here at home. We are called to be disciples everywhere, all the time, and that includes the sacred, complicated, and sometimes painful relationships with our parents.

The commandment to 'honor thy mother and father' is foundational, isn't it? We learned it in the temple, we heard it in Sunday School, and we know it’s a pillar of our covenant path. But what happens when the reality of that commandment clashes head-on with the reality of imperfect people? What if our parents, the people who should be our first source of comfort, are behaving in ways that are dishonorable? It’s a question that weighs heavily on the heart, one that requires more than just reciting scripture.

I recently saw a discussion pop up online—a question that hit me right in the gut—about exactly this. How do we navigate that commandment when the people we are supposed to honor aren't honoring themselves, or perhaps, aren't honoring us?

Listening to that counsel was a powerful reminder that discipleship isn't always about *building* up; sometimes, it's about *guarding* the self and maintaining the sacred boundaries of the Spirit. The speaker broke down the concept of respect into three distinct categories, and I feel the need to walk the Rogue Disciples through this framework, because it’s vital for any returned missionary who has to transition back into a complex family dynamic.

The Three Layers of Respect

The counsel suggests that we need to differentiate between three kinds of respect. Think of it like peeling back layers of an onion—each layer requires a different kind of effort and understanding.

1. Respect for Human Dignity (The Automatic Layer)

This is the baseline. It’s the respect owed to *every* person simply because they are made in God's image and likeness. This respect is automatic; it doesn't need to be earned, and it doesn't depend on their behavior. As disciples, we must always hold this standard, regardless of what they do.

2. Respect for the Role (The Covenant Layer)

This is where it gets tricky. We might respect the *role* of a parent, or the role of a teacher, or even the role of an elected official, even if the individual occupying that role is flawed. We honor the *office* or the *relationship structure* itself, recognizing the sacred covenant inherent in that role. This is where we try to emulate the best parts of the gospel—the role of the disciple.

3. Respect for the Individual (The Earned Layer)

This is the most personal, and frankly, the hardest layer. This is the respect earned through character, virtue, and action. And here, the counsel was crystal clear: if the individual has not acted honorably, there is no *obligation* to give this level of respect. It must be earned.

So, how do we "honor" when the individual layer is broken? The answer, as I took away from the talk, is that honoring can look less like active praise and more like active *avoidance* of dishonor. It means avoiding gossip, avoiding detraction, and refusing to treat them the way they treated us. It’s about maintaining our own covenant integrity while acknowledging the basic humanity of the other.

A Bite-Sized Mission Prep Skill

This really speaks to the principle of *becoming* Christlike, even when it’s inconvenient. When we feel the urge to react defensively or lash out—the natural, human response when hurt—we can pause and ask ourselves: Which layer of respect am I currently operating on? Am I reacting to the *person*, or am I upholding the *dignity* of the person, or am I upholding the *role* I need to maintain for my own testimony?

This principle is gold for our work in the field. When an investigator asks a tough question, or when a companion challenges a belief, we don't react emotionally. We pause, we identify the core principle being challenged (the role of truth, the dignity of the individual), and we respond with measured, Spirit-filled counsel. That's the work.

If this talk resonated with you, I encourage you to take a moment this week to reflect on a relationship where you feel the tension between duty and reality. Maybe try journaling about it, or perhaps join a Book Club in HolyPlaces to discuss principles of covenant keeping. We need to keep these sacred conversations alive.

For those who want to dig deeper into applying gospel principles to modern life, I highly recommend checking out the latest teachings on covenant keeping in LivingBook. And if you want to practice wrestling with those hard questions before you even step into the field, don't forget to connect with Davee. He's ready to run through some challenging hypotheticals with you as your AI Investigator co-pilot.