Keeping the Covenant Pure: Guidance on Intimacy Within Marriage

Brothers and sisters, as we continue to learn and grow in our discipleship—whether we're in the MTC, serving in the field, or simply studying at home—we know that the gospel touches every corner of our lives. Sometimes, the questions we wrestle with are deeply personal, touching on the most sacred covenants we make.

Recently, I came across some material addressing the topic of intimacy within marriage. It’s the kind of discussion that requires us to slow down, open the scriptures, and remember that the Lord’s guidance is always rooted in covenant keeping. It’s a reminder that even in the privacy of our homes, we are called to keep our bodies and our hearts pure for Him.

It’s easy, when we are deep in the day-to-day work of building Zion, to feel like we don't have time for the deeper doctrinal dives. But remember, every member can be an Internet missionary, and that means being a disciple anywhere, all the time. Understanding these principles helps us strengthen our covenants and build stronger families.

Understanding the Covenant: A Biblical Framework

The source material we reviewed approached this from a biblical perspective, which is always the safest and most reliable place to start. It stressed that scripture doesn't give a checklist of "dos and don'ts" for every situation, but rather it lays out foundational *principles*.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed by the specifics, I want you to focus on the core tenets they highlighted, because these are the pillars that support the entire structure of the marriage covenant:

1. God-Honoring: Our bodies are meant to glorify the Lord, not to be controlled by fleeting passions. (Think 1 Corinthians 6:20.)
2. Exclusivity: Sex is meant to be between a husband and a wife only.
3. Mutual Love & Other-Orientation: It must be an act of loving service to one's partner.
4. Regularity & Mutual Consent: The act should be loving, and crucially, it must be mutually agreed upon by both partners.
5. Unification: It should strengthen the bond—emotionally, spiritually, and physically—making you one flesh.

The Guiding Principle: Mutual Consent

What struck me most, and what I want to emphasize to all my fellow rogue disciples, is the emphasis on mutual consent. This is a powerful takeaway for all of us, whether we are preparing for missionary discussions or simply discussing doctrine in a Book Club. If both partners are agreeable, and the practice satisfies those five principles, the Bible doesn't provide a reason to call it a sin.

"Do not deprive each other, except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; and come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control."

This isn't just about the physical; it’s about the *will* of both individuals being aligned with the Lord's plan for their union. It requires communication, respect, and a willingness to yield to one another's needs in a covenant way.

A Bite-Sized Mission Prep Skill

If you take one thing away today, let it be this: When you are asked a difficult question—whether by an investigator, or even by a family member—don't try to give a definitive "yes" or "no" answer based on your personal feelings. Instead, gently redirect them back to the principle. Point them to the scripture that speaks to the principle (like honoring the body for God), and let the Spirit guide the conversation from there. That's the art of the disciple!

For those who want to dive deeper into how to handle these complex conversations, I highly recommend running by Davee. He’s excellent at role-playing these kinds of challenging doctrinal discussions. Check out the AI Investigator role in LivingBook!

If this discussion resonated with you, I invite you to join us for our next gathering. We'll be discussing the Book of Mormon prophets in HolyPlaces—a wonderful place to connect with other disciples who are committed to the work. Or, if you prefer self-study, the Iron Rod has some excellent material on covenant keeping that you can find in LivingBook.