The Battlefield Within: Guarding Your Spirit in the Work

Brothers and sisters, if I could give you one piece of counsel—one truth I wish I had internalized years ago while I was first feeling the weight of the calling—it would be this: Be your own best friend.

It’s so easy, isn't it? When we are deeply invested in the work, when we are studying for our mission discussions, or when we are trying to teach someone the gospel, we are so focused on the *external* battles. We worry about the lesson plan, the challenging question an investigator might ask, or whether our testimony was strong enough during a visit. We are rightly concerned with the world around us.

But Sister Holland spoke to a truth that cuts right to the heart of missionary preparation and discipleship: the battle we wage on the *interior* front can be the most damaging of all. We can become our own worst enemy.

I remember when I was first learning to navigate the intensity of the mission field. I thought if I just *thought* hard enough, if I just *willed* myself to be perfect, that the struggles would disappear. I treated every small stumble—a moment of doubt, a poorly worded answer, a missed opportunity—like a mortal shell fired at my soul. I let self-recrimination take root, letting it damage my sense of self-worth. It was exhausting, and frankly, it was draining the energy I needed for the actual work.

The counsel was clear: there is a crucial difference between a problem and yourself. A poor grade, a flat tire, a difficult conversation—these are *problems*. They are painful, they are dark, but they are not *who you are*. We are children of God. We must see ourselves through the lens of the Savior’s love, not through the harsh spotlight of our own self-criticism.

This applies so deeply to our lives as rogue disciples. We are called to be internet missionaries, to be disciples anywhere, all the time. We are constantly learning, constantly refining our testimonies, and sometimes, that process feels like a constant internal critique. We can get caught up in worrying about whether we are "good enough" for the calling, or if our current understanding of the gospel is sufficient.

But remember the principle: Don't let the internal struggle deplete the power needed for the outside battles. That energy is meant for building Zion, for sharing the restored gospel, for serving our local congregations, and for helping our brothers and sisters find the light.

If you are feeling that internal friction right now—if you are letting worry or self-doubt overshadow the Spirit's promptings—I invite you to pause. Take a deep breath. Treat yourself with the kindness you would naturally extend to a companion who is struggling. Be your own best friend. That self-compassion is not weakness; it is the bedrock of sustained effort in the work.

If you’re looking for ways to build that internal confidence and keep your mind renewed, I highly recommend diving into the Iron Rod writings. They are filled with reminders of the power of faith over fear. For those who want to dig deeper into scripture-discipleship, check out a Book Club or a Bible Study Group in HolyPlaces—it’s a wonderful way to focus our minds on Christ together.

If you’d like to walk through how to apply this principle when facing a tough doctrinal question, I encourage you to utilize Davee. He’s ready to guide you through the tough questions an investigator might ask, helping you answer with grace and knowledge.

Let’s commit this week to honoring the Lord by first honoring ourselves with Christlike self-acceptance. The Lord knows our hearts, and He sees the effort, not the perceived flaw.

"We must all hang together, or most assuredly we shall all hang separately."