The Danger of Being 'Right': Finding Humility in the Work

Have you ever found yourself in a conversation where you felt like you had the perfect, airtight answer? Maybe it was a comment thread online, or perhaps it was a disagreement over something small—like whether white pants are appropriate after Labor Day. It’s easy, isn't it? It feels good to be correct. We build up this little pedestal of certainty, this feeling that *we* know the way, that *we* are smarter, or at least, more correct than the person across the table.

It’s a natural human tendency. We want to be right. We want to prove our knowledge, our adherence to the rules, or our moral standing. But as returned missionaries, as disciples who have seen the light of the gospel, we know that the pursuit of being "right" can be a very dangerous spiritual trap.

The Spirit whispers to us constantly to be diligent in our studies, to prepare for those inevitable missionary discussions, and to keep our hearts teachable. But what happens when our natural inclination is to correct, to prove, or to lecture? We can fall into the very trap the Savior warned about.

The Parable of the Two Men

The Lord’s words in Luke’s gospel are a timeless warning. Think about the Pharisee and the tax collector. On one side, you have the Pharisee—outwardly righteous, meticulous about the law, ticking every box. He was visibly good. On the other, the tax collector—outwardly despised, carrying the weight of his acknowledged shortcomings. And what do we hear? The Pharisee prays, thanking God that he is *not* like the other man. His prayer is a spiritual resume, a recitation of his own merits, and it is precisely that self-congratulation that renders it empty before the Lord.

It strikes me, as someone who has spent time in the field, that the greatest barrier to receiving the Spirit isn't usually outright sin; it's often the subtle arrogance of thinking we have enough spiritual capital built up to earn God’s favor. We start thinking we are doing enough, or that our knowledge of the scriptures—even after hours in the MTC or deep dives into the Iron Rod—is enough to secure our standing.

The Gift of No Offense

The message we received recently—about living with "No Offense"—isn't just about manners; it’s about spiritual warfare waged in our daily interactions. It’s about choosing humility over being proven correct. It means recognizing that the goal of the gospel isn't to accumulate credentials or win theological debates; it’s to invite the Atonement of Jesus Christ into our lives.

This principle is vital for every one of us who strives to be an internet missionary. We are going to encounter people—online, in person, even in a casual conversation—who will challenge our understanding, who will disagree with our beliefs, and who might even seem hostile. Our first instinct, the instinct honed by years of cultural conditioning, might be to defend our position, to cite our scriptures, or to show them *why* they are wrong.

But the Spirit whispers a different counsel. It whispers: *Be Christlike*. It whispers: *Listen first*. It whispers: *Seek understanding before seeking to be understood*. This isn't weakness; it is the profound, powerful strength of the gospel. It is the willingness to empty ourselves of our own righteousness so that the Savior can fill us with His grace.

The greatest testament to our discipleship isn't how much we know, but how willing we are to learn, even when it challenges everything we thought we knew.

My challenge to you this week, my brothers and sisters, is to practice radical listening. When someone challenges you, resist the urge to formulate your rebuttal. Instead, pause. Breathe. And ask yourself: Am I responding from a place of love, or from a place of needing to be proven right? Let the Savior’s example guide your tongue. He didn't argue with the Pharisees; He taught them with patience and profound love.

If you're feeling the pull to deepen your understanding of how to navigate these tricky conversations, I highly recommend revisiting the teachings on this topic. For a deeper dive into the principles of humility and discipleship, check out the Book Club discussions happening in HolyPlaces, or perhaps spend some time with Davee. He’s fantastic at walking through the tough questions an investigator might ask, helping us frame our answers with grace rather than defensiveness.

Remember, we are all imperfect, we are all in need of the Savior's grace, and that realization is where our true journey—the beautiful, messy, glorious work of discipleship—truly begins.