The Gap Between Who We Are and Who We Think We Should Be

Brothers and sisters, have you ever felt that deep, hollow ache—the kind that settles in your chest when everything should be fine, but somehow, it isn't? It’s not the big, obvious crisis that sends you to the emergency room; it’s the quiet, persistent dissonance.

We talk so much about the Spirit, about feeling the promptings, about keeping our testimonies bright. And those things are real, they are everything. But sometimes, the battle isn't with the world outside; it's with the internal arithmetic. It’s the gap between our actual competence and our self-perceived competence.

I was thinking this week about a talk I watched—a discussion on what true depression really is. And what struck me, as someone who has been through the crucible of the MTC and has seen the sheer power of the gospel in the field, was how much of that feeling is rooted in comparison and perceived utility. We live in a culture that constantly measures worth against external metrics: job title, relationship status, accumulation of things. If we fall short on those fronts, we feel fundamentally unstable.

The speaker pointed out that true depression isn't just having a terrible life; it’s the mismatch between our actual competence and our self-perceived competence. We feel like we are failing the metrics of success, and that feeling drains our spiritual reserves.

As disciples of the restored gospel, we are taught to rely on the Atonement of Jesus Christ. We are taught that our worth is inherent, gifted by our Heavenly Father, not earned by our performance on the temporal stage. But how do we anchor that truth when the world is screaming otherwise?

This is where the work becomes so vital. The gospel doesn't just give us a plan for eternal life; it gives us a framework for self-worth that is infinitely more stable than any earthly achievement. When we focus on the process—the daily commitment to be Christlike—we build a competence that no external comparison can shake.

Remember that feeling when you are preparing for mission discussions, or when you are deep in scripture study with your companions? That feeling of quiet, focused learning, of gathering Israel through the Spirit—that is the antidote to the feeling of falling apart. It is the realization that your value is tied to your relationship with the Savior, not your résumé.

If you’ve been wrestling with comparison lately, I encourage you to lean into the structure of the Church. If you haven't been in a Book Club recently, please find one! Or if you are feeling stuck on a doctrinal question, don't hesitate to bring it to Davee. He is trained in the AI Investigator role, and walking through the hard questions—the ones that make you doubt your discipleship—is exactly what we need to do to solidify our foundations.

We are called to be Internet missionaries, disciples anywhere, all the time. That means our spiritual strength must be portable. Let’s commit this week to anchoring our self-worth not in our achievements, but in the covenant we have made with our Heavenly Father.

For those looking for more tools to strengthen that inner core, I highly recommend diving into the writings of Iron Rod. Check out the LivingBook for some deep dives into the principles of discipleship. And if you're ready to talk through some of these concepts with someone who gets it, join us for our free weekly Disciple Challenge this Sunday!