The Permission Slip for Joy: Being a Disciple When You're Messy

Sometimes, I think back to my own early days in the field. I remember feeling this tremendous pressure—the kind of pressure that whispers, *You aren't ready.*

You're standing in a missionary discussion, and you feel like you should have a perfect answer for the hardest question. You’re helping a friend study the Book of Mormon, and you feel like you should be able to teach the nuances of the plan of salvation flawlessly. Or maybe you're just trying to maintain your own personal joy after a rough week, and the voice in your head says, *You're supposed to be better than this.*

It’s a heavy weight, isn't it? The desire to be perfect. The desire to be the ideal disciple. We are taught to be disciples, and the gospel is full of glorious promises, but what if the assumption of perfection is actually the biggest barrier to sharing the joy of the gospel?

The truth, as the Spirit keeps gently reminding me, is that we don't have to be perfect disciples of Christ to be disciples of Christ. We are called to progress. We are called to the journey.

The Power of the Messy Testimony

We are all, universally, messes. We are weak. We are navigating life with all the constant, messy little crises that pop up—stuff that has nothing to do with us, but requires us to respond anyway. Nobody has a tidy life. And guess what? That's okay. That's exactly where the gospel power is found.

If we wait until we feel "far enough along" or "good enough," we will never begin the work. We will wait for the perfect moment, the perfect testimony, the perfect life—and that moment will never arrive.

The beautiful irony of the gospel is that it doesn't require us to arrive first; it requires us to start walking.

If you've been wrestling with how to maintain joy and goodness when you feel scattered, frazzled, or just plain imperfect, I highly recommend you listen to the full episode of the Make Joy Normal podcast where Bonnie Landry discusses this topic. It’s a really refreshing reminder that progress is the measure of discipleship.

The Time to Scatter Joy is Now

There is a wonderful quote that keeps ringing in my ears: "The time to scatter joy is now."

Think about it in terms of planting a fruit tree. The best time to plant a tree was twenty years ago. The second best time is now. If we wait until we feel perfect, we are waiting for a time that may never come. The time to spread joy, the time to share the knowledge of Christ, the time to build Zion—the time is always now.

This isn't just about feeling happy; it's about action. It's about being an apostle of joy even when you are struggling with it yourself. It's about leaning into the fact that your imperfections are not disqualifiers; they are simply part of the story of redemption.

Putting Progress into Practice

How do we turn this realization—that we are meant to be disciples *in* our messiness—into action in our day-to-day lives?

1. Embrace the Struggle: When you feel discouraged or fall short, don't let that feeling paralyze you. Instead, use it as fuel. That struggle is exactly the spot where the Spirit needs to testify of Christ’s grace.
2. Focus on the Next Step: Instead of looking at the mountain of perfection, focus on the single step in front of you—the next missionary discussion, the next time you help a friend study, the next moment of kindness.
3. Share Your Journey: Remember that your testimony is not a polished performance; it’s a living, breathing account of grace. Share your journey with others, because that’s what makes the gospel so relatable.

If you are feeling the pressure of the work, or if you are preparing for the mission, remember this: The Brethren know we are imperfect. The Savior knows we are imperfect. And He loves us regardless. Our greatest asset isn't our flawlessness; it's our willingness to keep showing up, keeping trying, and keeping sharing the joy of the gospel.

If you want to practice turning struggle into testimony, check out a free weekly Disciple Challenge! Or, if you want to deepen your understanding of Christ's grace in a structured way, join a Book Club through HolyPlaces. Let's keep moving forward, together.