The Radical Discipline of Forgiveness: Essential for the Work

If you've spent time in the field, you know that the work will test you. It will test your patience, your conviction, and sometimes, it will test your heart. We are taught to be resilient, to endure hardship, and to always point people toward the Savior. But what happens when the hurt comes from someone you expected nothing but light from? What happens when the disappointments pile up—from a companion, a local leader, or even a friend?

It's easy to feel righteous anger. It's natural to want the other person to understand the depth of the pain they caused. But if we are going to be effective internet missionaries, if we are going to help others find the Spirit and the truth, we have to master something far more powerful than our own good intentions: the art of forgiveness.

More Than Forgetting: A Spiritual Discipline

When we talk about forgiveness, we often think it means forgetting what happened. But scripture teaches us that it is much deeper than that. It is a radical discipline—a surrender of our right to vengeance. It requires us to trust, completely and wholly, that God’s mercy is greater than our pain.

The Prophet Joseph Smith taught that we must forgive as we have been forgiven. And the Savior exemplified this perfectly. He didn't just *tell* us to forgive; He lived it. He taught that forgiveness is not a feeling we wait for, but a choice we make—a choice that allows the Spirit to flow through us.

The Choice to Breathe

One of the most powerful metaphors for this concept is that forgiveness is like breathing. You cannot breathe if you are holding your breath. The moment we cling to resentment, the moment we hold onto the sense of injustice, we are essentially holding our breath. We restrict the flow of the Spirit and the flow of grace.

This means that forgiveness isn't about making the offender feel good; it's about making *us* feel free. It's about recognizing that holding onto bitterness is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die. It keeps us tethered to the cycle of pain, and that cycle is the opposite of the covenant path.

Applying This to the Work

As returned missionaries, we understand that the work is never linear. Sometimes we pour our hearts into a missionary discussion, only to feel rejected. Sometimes we spend months building rapport with a family, only to have them withdraw. It hurts. It feels unfair.

In those moments, the temptation is to become cynical, to let the hurt harden our hearts. But the Spirit calls us to something better. It calls us to practice that divine surrender. It calls us to remember that our worth, and the Savior's worthiness, is not determined by the success of the mission, or the immediate response of the investigator, but by our willingness to keep our hearts soft and open.

The greatest power we can wield in the field isn't our scriptures or our perfect testimony; it is the capacity to forgive—to forgive the person, and to forgive ourselves for our imperfections.

This spiritual muscle needs training. It’s not a one-time fix; it’s a daily discipline, just like studying the principles found in the Iron Rod. It’s a continuous commitment to being Christlike, even when it costs us.

Challenge: Practice the Pause

This week, as you are engaged in your calling—whether it's a Book Club, a Bible Study, or just a difficult conversation with a family member—I want you to try a simple exercise. When you feel that familiar spike of frustration, don't react immediately. Pause. Take a deep breath. And ask yourself: 'Whose right am I holding onto right now? Am I holding onto my right to be right, or my right to feel hurt?'

The answer, always, should be to let it go. That is the breath that allows the Spirit to fill the space.

If you want to deepen this study, I highly recommend revisiting the principles of Christ’s Atonement in the latest writings from the Iron Rod authors. And if you are ready to put this into practice, join our free weekly Disciple Challenge! We’ll be focusing on turning discipline into grace. See you there!