The Space Between: Choosing Response and Cultivating Integrity

How often do we find ourselves bristling at the perceived slight of another? How readily do we allow the actions of others to dictate our emotional state, to poison our testimony? The Lord has promised a path beyond such turmoil, a path where “nothing shall offend” (D&C 128:11). Brother Troy Spratling, in his recent devotional, offered a compelling exploration of this vital principle, drawing from the wisdom of Stephen Covey and Terry Warner, anchored firmly in the bedrock of gospel truth.

The incident he recounts – the call from a ward leader regarding the unprepared young men’s skit – serves as a microcosm of the larger struggle we all face: the space between stimulus and response. Covey’s observation, as relayed by Brother Spratling, is not merely a self-help platitude; it is a profound recognition of agency, a divine gift. We are not mere puppets of circumstance; we possess the power to choose our reaction, and that choice, as he rightly notes, defines who we are. This echoes Nephi’s experience in 1 Nephi 3:7, where he pleads with his brothers, “I will go, and I will do as the Lord has commanded me.”

The Light of Christ, that innate conscience within each of us, whispers the path of righteousness. Yet, it requires diligent cultivation to discern its voice amidst the clamor of worldly influences and personal insecurities. Terry Warner's insight – that acting with integrity leaves nothing to hide – is a cornerstone of this cultivation. When we strive to live in accordance with divine principles, we are less likely to feel the need to justify our actions, and therefore, less prone to take offense.

The responses shared on the BYU-Idaho devotional discussion board were particularly insightful. Sherry’s observation that “offense is how we perceive it” cuts to the heart of the matter. It is not the action itself that offends, but our interpretation of it, our willingness to allow it to wound us. Shantel’s poignant reminder – that we expect perfection from others while hoping for leniency for ourselves – highlights the inconsistency of human judgment. And Chelsea’s simple truth – that taking offense has never solved a problem – underscores the futility of resentment.

This isn't a call to passive acceptance of egregious wrongdoing. Justice and righteous indignation have their place, as exemplified by the prophets who rebuked the wickedness of their day. But it is a call to examine our own hearts, to temper our reactions, and to seek understanding before judgment. The Lord counsels us to “hearken unto the words of the Lord, and learn of him, and do what he commandeth” (D&C 88:68). This requires humility, a willingness to acknowledge our own imperfections and to extend grace to others.

Consider the parable of the prodigal son (Luke 15:11-32). The father’s response to his wayward son wasn’t one of accusation or resentment, but of boundless love and forgiveness. He recognized the son's agency and met him with open arms, demonstrating a profound understanding of human frailty and the power of redemption.

As we strive to build Zion, we must cultivate within ourselves the capacity to endure adversity with grace and integrity. This requires constant vigilance, a commitment to the iron rod of truth, and a reliance on the Holy Ghost. Let us remember the words of Isaiah: “And no man shall offend another, and no man shall force his neighbor” (Isaiah 5:24). This is not merely a promise, but a goal, a standard to which we must aspire.

May we all seek to narrow the space between stimulus and response, to choose righteousness, and to find true happiness in the service of our fellow beings.