The Weight of the Cross: Finding Forgiveness in the Work

When I was preparing for my mission, I thought the biggest challenge would be memorizing the key scriptures, or handling the tough questions during missionary discussions. I was wrong. The hardest thing I had to learn was how to forgive.

It’s easy to feel justified in wanting to get even. When someone hurts us—a friend betrays us, a family member disappoints us, or even someone we encounter in the field seems impervious to the Spirit—the natural, human response is anger. We build walls of resentment, and those walls are heavy. They weigh us down, draining the energy we desperately need for the work.

It's a spiritual lesson that takes years of practice, and often, we only learn it after a significant trial. We can hold onto grudges for a lifetime, believing that keeping count of past hurts somehow gives us power. But what the Lord teaches us—and what the Spirit gently whispers to us—is that bitterness is not a form of justice; it is a spiritual anchor that keeps us from moving forward.

Forgiveness: A Liberating Gift for the Disciple

The truth about forgiveness, as I’ve come to understand it, is that it is less about the person who hurt us, and entirely about the healing of our own hearts. It is freeing up the energy once consumed by harboring resentments. It’s a process of relocating our capacity to understand and accept others—and ourselves.

I remember a time when I was struggling with a particular companion—a sweet soul, but one who constantly seemed to challenge my patience. I felt resentful, interpreting every small mistake as a personal slight. I was nursing a wound, and it was exhausting. I realized I was treating my relationship with the Spirit like a performance, and I was failing the test of empathy. I had to remember that the Lord asks us to forgive all men.

This concept is profound, especially when we think about the difficulties of the field. We are constantly meeting people who do not understand the covenant path, who challenge our beliefs, or who simply treat the gospel as a curiosity rather than a living reality. It takes more than just knowledge to be a disciple; it takes a Christlike heart that is willing to extend grace even when it feels undeserved.

“Forgiveness comes more readily when we have faith in God and trust in his word. Such faith enables people to withstand the worst of humanity.”

This is the core message that rings through all of our missionary discussions, whether we are in the MTC, with our district leader, or serving in a foreign land. Our faith must be deep enough that it allows us to look beyond ourselves, beyond the immediate pain, and trust in the Lord’s ultimate plan.

Practicing Forgiveness in Preparation

How do we build this muscle? We practice it in our daily lives, even before we ever step foot on mission territory. For me, this means recognizing that spiritual growth is often painful. It means accepting that some of our suffering—the inexplicable losses, the misunderstandings, the things that happen to people we love—are known only to the Lord. We must endure them with faith.

If you are currently in mission prep, I encourage you to use this principle in your interactions with your comps. Don't let a small disagreement escalate into a deep-seated grievance. Instead, treat every interaction as a chance to model the patience and grace of the Savior. That is a mission-prep skill that will serve you far better than knowing 50 names and capitals.

Where to Deepen Your Study

If this topic resonated with you, I encourage you to dive deeper into the scriptures. Sometimes, the most powerful learning happens in community. Have you considered joining a Book Club or a Bible Study Group in HolyPlaces? We recently started a study on the concept of endurance, and the social scripture study layer in LivingBook has been incredible for finding related insights.

If you are looking for some foundational reading on the topic of overcoming personal bitterness, I highly recommend checking out Iron Rod's book on Patience available in LivingBook. It offers some truly practical ways to strengthen your spiritual resilience.

If you have questions about how to approach a difficult conversation—perhaps dealing with a lingering hurt from a family member or a friend—don't hesitate to use Davee. He specializes in the AI Investigator role, walking you through the hard questions an investigator might ask and giving you the tools to answer them with genuine empathy and conviction. He's always ready to help you feel prepared for the field, no matter where you are!

Remember, our greatest power doesn't come from our own strength, but from the grace we are prepared to offer. Let's carry that grace with us as we continue the work.