Tolerating the Family: Finding the Spirit in the Season

It’s that time of year again. The lights are up, the plates are piled high, and the sheer volume of food threatens to create a food coma that lasts until New Year's Day. If you’ve been out in the field, or even just studying scriptures quietly in your own home, you know the sacred rhythm of the gospel. But sometimes, the most unexpected 'field work' happens right at the dinner table.

I was watching a little recording recently—a simple, heartfelt Christmas greeting—and something really resonated with me. The speakers were talking about the joy of family, the gathering, and the abundance of food. But woven through the festive wishes was a piece of counsel that hit me like a revelation: the need for tolerance.

They said, and I quote, “Try to tolerate the family… put your differences aside for one day and just enjoy the meal. Don't talk politics, don't talk religion.”

As returned missionaries, we’ve been taught to be prepared for every question, to have our scriptures ready, and to answer with the Spirit. We practice for missionary discussions, we learn how to navigate tough topics with grace. But what about the *unscripted* discussions? The ones where the topic is division, disagreement, or just plain old stubbornness?

It struck me that our discipleship—the work—isn't just about going out to the world; it’s about cultivating the Spirit *wherever* we are. It’s about being an internet missionary in our own living rooms.

The Art of the Pause: Being Christlike at the Table

The counsel here is profound. We are taught to be Christlike, and Christ was the ultimate master of patience. He didn't argue with the Pharisees over every minor detail; He chose when and how to speak, and often, He simply modeled perfect love and forbearance.

When we think about the power of the Spirit, we often associate it with profound doctrinal revelation or a powerful testimony. But sometimes, the Spirit whispers that the greatest power we can wield is the power of *silence* and *agreement to disagree*. It’s choosing to protect the sacred atmosphere of the gathering, even when the conversational currents are pulling us toward conflict.

This reminds me of the principles we study in our Iron Rod materials. Sometimes, the most advanced investigative skill isn't knowing the answer, but knowing when *not* to answer. It’s recognizing that the immediate goal isn't conversion, but connection, and preserving the peace is the highest form of service.

Remember that beautiful truth shared: “Family doesn't always mean blood... you get to pick your friends you can't pick your family.” In the context of the gospel, our *chosen* family—our ward, our stake, our discipleship circle—is the one where we *can* choose to put our differences aside for the sake of the covenant path. That’s where we practice the highest form of discipleship.

This isn't about pretending things aren't difficult. It's about making a conscious, covenant choice to elevate the Spirit above the immediate fray. It’s a daily act of faith, a small, consistent effort that builds the spiritual muscle we need when we go back into the field, or when we are simply trying to gather Israel right where we are planted.

If you are feeling the weight of the world's disagreements, I encourage you to focus on one small, tangible act of peace this week. Maybe it’s actively listening without planning your rebuttal. Maybe it’s changing the subject with genuine enthusiasm when tension rises. That small act is a sermon, a testimony, and a powerful piece of missionary preparation all rolled into one.

We are called to be disciples everywhere, all the time. Let’s carry that light, even when the holiday dinner table feels more like a diplomatic summit than a celebration.

If you want to practice these delicate skills—how to navigate difficult questions or challenging conversations—I highly recommend checking out the AI Investigator role with Davee. He’s fantastic at walking you through those "what if" scenarios. For those who want to deepen their study of doctrine, don't forget to look into a Book Club or Bible Study in HolyPlaces. The Spirit is waiting to guide you.

Merry Christmas to all of you, and may your coming New Year be marked by deepened covenants and profound peace.