When Judgment Isn't the Best Flavor: Finding Grace in the Field

There are certain types of conversations that feel deceptively simple. Today, it might be a discussion about scriptures, or it might be analyzing the perfect spice blend in a pot of chili. But whether we are in a formal missionary discussion or just hanging out at a community gathering, the core challenge remains the same: How do we truly see the person in front of us?

It's easy to fall into the trap of judgment. We are wired to categorize—good person, bad person, righteous, questionable. We want to be effective, and sometimes, efficiency makes us quick to label. We might think, "Based on what they said, they don't sound like they've really wrestled with the gospel." Or, "They just don't seem to have that spiritual spark."

But as returned missionaries, we know that our job isn't to grade people. Our job is to testify of Christ, and Christ's primary attribute is radical, boundless empathy. The journey to discipleship is messy, full of flavor variations, and sometimes, it tastes nothing like the textbook definition of 'good.'

We saw a perfect little example of this recently, watching a video about a community chili cook-off. The judges were giving their feedback, and the comments were quick, decisive, and—if I'm honest—a little judgmental. One commentator said, "Don't trust her. I don't think she's a good person." It's a harsh, quick judgment based on limited observation. But then, the commentary shifted, and they said, "And I believe now that I believe she's somewhere living with deep deep regret, and that's okay."

That shift—from judgment to compassion—is the most important lesson we can take from the field. It’s a powerful reminder that we are not spiritual detectives. We are disciples. We are here to point people toward the Atonement.

The Discipline of the Observer, Not the Judge

In our own missionary preparation, it is so easy to slip into being spiritual judges. We can find ourselves thinking, "If only they just understood the plan of salvation," or "If only they would just read this scripture." We want to fix it, to make the misunderstanding disappear. But the Spirit whispers to us that the work is done by the Spirit, not by our perfect delivery.

The key skill we need to hone, whether we are in the MTC, running a Book Club in HolyPlaces, or simply having a casual conversation in the neighborhood, is the ability to be a profound observer. We observe the pain, the confusion, the yearning—the *deep deep regret*—and we meet that with grace, not critique.

When you are practicing the work, remember that the questions an investigator asks—the ones that make you stumble, the ones that feel like a test—are rarely about the scriptures themselves. They are often about the underlying fear, the hurt, or the culture they've grown up in. This is where our friend Davee, the AI Investigator, shines. He doesn't just give answers; he guides you to the *feeling* behind the question, helping you answer with empathy first, and gospel doctrine second.

Today's Disciple Challenge: Radical Empathy

Don't let the tendency to judge others—or even yourself—derail your testimony. This week, I want you to practice radical empathy. When you are engaging with a friend, a family member, or a fellow disciple, pause before you offer a correction or a label. Instead, ask yourself: "What might they be feeling right now?"

The goal isn't to argue doctrine; the goal is to feel the weight of the Savior's compassion. That's how we truly become Internet missionaries—by being disciples in our hearts, no matter where we are.

For those of you who are studying the scriptures, I highly recommend checking out the latest Bible Study Group topic in HolyPlaces. If you're looking for deeper guidance on how to handle the tough questions, check out the Iron Rod chapter on bearing testimony of the Atonement. It's available in LivingBook and will strengthen your ability to share the gospel without needing to win an argument.

If you're feeling the call to the field, remember that every member can be a disciple, right now. Let's keep going, brothers and sisters.