Beyond Happiness: What Marriage is Really For

There are so many things we talk about when we discuss relationships—the joy, the companionship, the shared laughter. And those things are real! They are blessings from Heavenly Father. But sometimes, when we approach marriage, we treat it like a destination—a place where we finally *arrive* at perfect happiness. And when that doesn't happen, we get discouraged, right?

I remember early in my own missionary days, I thought that finding a companion meant finding a perfect match that would complete me. I was so focused on my own fulfillment, on *my* happiness, that I missed the bigger picture. It wasn't until I started studying what it means to follow Christ—to serve—that the lens through which I viewed everything, including my own marriage, began to shift.

It’s easy to get caught up in the 'feeling' of a relationship. But the truth, the kind of truth that deepens your discipleship, is that marriage isn't primarily about *personal* happiness. It's about something much more sacred: sanctification. It’s a refining process.

The Purpose: Becoming More Like Christ

What did I learn from watching a talk recently, and what I’ve seen play out over years of my own life? That marriage is meant to be a living example of Christ’s love for the Church. Jesus didn't come to be served; He came to serve. That principle—sacrificial service—is the bedrock.

When you commit to loving your spouse sacrificially, daily, you aren't just doing a nice thing; you are actively participating in the process of becoming more like Him. And that process, friends, is *hard*. It confronts you. It will shine a bright, sometimes uncomfortable light on your pride, your impatience, and those little selfish habits you thought you could keep hidden.

This is where the discipleship aspect comes in, whether you’re in the MTC, in the field, or right here in your living room as an internet missionary. The work, in all its forms, is designed to refine us. If we want to be better disciples, we have to be willing to be challenged.

A Bite-Sized Mission-Prep Skill: Embracing the Friction

If you want to feel more Christlike this week, I challenge you to identify one area in your current life—at home, with a friend, or even in your own thoughts—where you tend to react out of impatience or pride. Don't try to fix it all at once. Just notice it. When you notice the friction, pause. And then, ask yourself: "How would the Savior respond right here, right now?" That pause, that moment of intentional redirection, is where the Spirit whispers the correction, and that is where the refining happens.

It sounds simple, but it's profound. It requires us to treat our own relationships—our marriages, our friendships, our callings—as our primary, ongoing field of missionary discussions.

If you’re feeling the pull to deepen your understanding of discipleship, I highly recommend diving into the latest teachings on covenants. Check out the LivingBook and look for some insights on covenant keeping. If you’d rather discuss this in person, we’re hosting a virtual Bible Study Group this Thursday evening—a perfect place for us to work through some of these challenging topics together. Come ready to share, and come ready to be taught!

Remember, every member can be an internet missionary, every member can be a disciple anywhere, all the time. Let's keep refining together!