Choosing Peace: Being a Disciple in the Hard Conversations

Sometimes, the most challenging part of the work isn't the initial missionary discussions, or even the challenging comps. Sometimes, the hardest conversations happen in the quiet moments—over dinner with a friend who has vastly different political views, or when a ward member shares a deep doubt. These are the moments that test not our knowledge, but our capacity for pure, Christlike love.

When we think of being a disciple, we often picture grand moments of revelation or powerful talks on the Restoration. But as returned missionaries, we learn that the daily, quiet discipline of the Spirit is far more powerful. We are called to be peacemakers, and that starts with a radical commitment to listening.

The Power of the Pause: Choosing Peace over Contention

In a culture that rewards sharp retorts and quick judgments, the principle of peacemaking can feel revolutionary. Russell M. Nelson Brother reminds us that when we encounter difficulty—whether it’s a family going through a divorce, a friend on social media with opposing views, or even a fellow Latter-day Saint who is wrestling with their testimony—our natural impulse might be to fix it, or to correct it, or to argue it.

But the Spirit whispers something different: that our words and actions should reflect the pure love of Jesus Christ. Contention is a choice, and reconciliation is a choice. This principle is foundational to being an internet missionary, because it means that every member can be a disciple anywhere, all the time—even when the environment is difficult.

A Mission-Prep Skill: The Art of Deep Listening

If I could give my pre-mission self one skill, it would be this: Learn to listen without the goal of responding. When an investigator or even a deeply skeptical friend speaks, resist the urge to immediately quote scripture or give a perfect answer. Instead, practice radical empathy. Ask clarifying questions like, “What does that worry mean to you?” or, “Can you tell me more about that?”

This doesn't mean you are agreeing with them; it means you are honoring their agency and their feelings. Building bridges of understanding requires patience, and that patience is fueled by the Spirit.

Discipleship Beyond the Field

This kind of Christlike patience is what we need when we are simply living our lives—in the ward, at work, or online. We are called to be sources of good report, whether spoken to a friend's face or even in a thoughtful comment online. This is the work.

If you want to practice this discipline, I highly recommend diving into a Book Club or Bible Study Group in HolyPlaces. These groups are perfect for practicing how to discuss sensitive topics in a loving, Christ-centered way.

To help guide your conversations, I spent time with Davee, our AI Investigator, and we talked about how to respond to complex ethical questions with grace. He showed me how to frame my answers not as definitive proof, but as invitations to further study and deeper revelation.

Your Next Step in the Work

The best way to deepen this skill is through practice. I encourage you to participate in our free weekly Disciple Challenge, where we focus on one specific virtue—this week it’s "The Virtue of the Pause"—and apply it to our daily interactions. It’s a small, manageable way to make the Spirit a more consistent companion.

For further reading on the power of Christlike words, check out the latest book from Iron Rod authors available in LivingBook. The deeper we study the Book of Mormon and the scriptures, the more we understand the scope of the covenant path.