Cultivating a Soft Heart: Following the Pattern of Christ

There are times when the noise of the world—the constant demands, the little slights, the sheer weight of living—can feel like it’s hardening something deep within us. We build up these emotional shields, these walls we think are necessary for survival. We tell ourselves, "I can't afford to be hurt again." We build defenses.

But what if the very defenses we build up to protect ourselves are the very things that keep us from the Spirit? What if the greatest protection isn't a wall, but a willingness to be vulnerable, to be marinated in the Savior's grace?

I was reflecting recently on the concept of the 'soft heart.' It’s a concept that resonates so deeply when you’re back from a mission, or even just after a challenging week of discipleship. It’s the opposite of the hardened heart that scripture warns us against—the heart that can no longer truly feel empathy or draw near to the Savior.

The Savior’s invitation rings so clear: “Come unto me, all ye that are weary, and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” But to accept that rest, our hearts must be prepared. We must be willing to let the Spirit work on us, to be pliable, and to be teachable.

The Discipline of Softness

What does it actually mean to keep our hearts soft? It’s not just about being nice to people, though that flows from it. It’s about a constant, conscious effort to keep our inner spirit receptive to the divine promptings. It’s about practicing what I’ve learned to call 'spiritual hygiene.'

Think about it: we are constantly being presented with opportunities to refine our understanding of the gospel. Whether it’s in a Book Club discussion in HolyPlaces, or when we are preparing for missionary discussions with an investigator, or even just wrestling with a scripture passage during a quiet study—we are always being asked to adjust, to yield. That process of refinement is what keeps us from hardening.

The scriptures teach us that we need to actively work to replace the stone heart with the fleshly heart—a heart capable of feeling the divine touch. This isn't passive; it requires action. It requires us to be diligent in keeping a pure conscience, as Paul taught.

Sometimes, in our discipleship, we get caught up in being "right," or in protecting our own narrative. But the Savior’s pattern is one of humility and yielding. He teaches us that sometimes, the most Christlike thing to do—the thing that helps *us* feel more connected to Him—is to admit when we were wrong, or to apologize when we feel we were slighted. It’s about choosing grace over being "right."

This isn't weakness; it's profound spiritual strength. It’s trusting that the Atonement of Jesus Christ is powerful enough to heal the misunderstandings, the hurts, and the perceived slights that build up our emotional armor.

A Little Tip for the Field

As we continue to be Internet missionaries, we are constantly interacting with people who are wrestling with their own hardened spots. We can’t solve their struggles, but we can model the pattern. When you feel yourself getting defensive in a conversation, take a deep breath. Remember the invitation to the Savior. Instead of defending your position, try asking, "How might this principle apply to *your* experience?" That shift—from defending to inquiring—is the work of the Spirit at its best.

If you want to dig deeper into the mechanics of how we can maintain that sensitivity, I highly recommend diving into the teachings available through Davee. He is excellent at walking through the hard questions an investigator might ask about emotional resilience.

If you are looking for more foundational teaching on this topic, I found some insights in the Iron Rod materials about cultivating empathy. I’ve linked a few recommended readings below.

Keep yourselves accountable to one another. Let's commit this week to being more willing to say, "I might be wrong, and I want to learn." That willingness is where the Spirit rushes in.

Fellow Disciples: If you’re looking for a place to deepen your understanding of scripture-discipleship with others, check out the Book Clubs or Bible Study Groups in HolyPlaces. It’s a wonderful place to share these vulnerable insights with trusted companions.

Recommended Reading: Check out the latest insights on personal revelation in LivingBook. The Lord loves to teach us how to be continually refined!